One very clear and important memory from kindergarden is when a bunch of kids, boys and girls where making fun of this one boy because he brought to class his sister's stove toy with pots, pans and plates. The kids were making fun of him because he was "a boy playing with girls toys". They were laughing at him and calling him names. I saw what was happening; I remember how I immediately went to his side and told all the kids to leave him alone. I felt very bad for this boy and I did not think it was right to treat him like that. I told him not to feel bad and started playing with him to make him feel better, and he did. We both played with the stove pretending to cook, the kids stop bothering him and he was smiling. Still to this day it makes me very happy to remember him smile.
Another strong memory I have is being at the bank with my mother when I was very young, maybe 6 or 7 years old. We were in line and the men in front of us were talking about war and how we will never have world peace. I remember feeling confused. I thought to myself "What do you mean there is no peace in the world?" Like I knew what peace was but did not know why there was no peace according to others.
These three memories have been playing in my mind for a while. I think it is because now I understand how my whole being works. I came here to love and teach others the path to peace. It is embedded in me. I was born with it. In the first memory, nobody had to tell me to love this man because he was my great grandfather. I was only 2, It was not important who he was, what he did or what he had. I just loved him dearly and being with him filled my heart with joy. I knew he was a good soul. I just knew it. One of the last memories I have of him was giving him a kiss on his right cheek. I remember he was very old and very sick and my great grandmother was there taking care of him. I just wanted to make him feel better. He was holding his medicine and coughing. I was only 3 years old. I still remember the goodness of his soul.
For the kindergarden memory, I did not have to learn about morality to know it was wrong to make fun of someone. I did not have to study psychology to know how to help someone feel better. I did not need a degree in law to advocate for someone. I just felt what was right and wrong and followed my inner guidance to do good and be good.
As for the bank memory, nobody ever told me the meaning, etymology or concept of peace, but I knew what it was. I exactly knew what it was and I was surprised that people did not think it exist.
Ever since birth I have been sensitive to the feelings of others and had strong emotions for people, animals, nature and situations.
I have always operated that way. Now I do it more mindfully. As I grew older, the strong feelings were not only of love; they were also of anger, sadness, frustration, etc. After I started my spiritual path I discovered how to center myself in order to calm any detrimental feelings down and channel pure love and peace instead. Meditation has helped me a lot with this. Specially lovingkindness meditation. My memories from childhood helped me realized that I was naturally good and loving. The meditation practice has returned me to that point of innocence.
Now that I am more centered thanks to my spiritual practice, it is easier to offer help and kindness to people around me without any agendas. Just as when I was a child, it fills my heart with joy to see people smile and feel better.
Sometimes I feel sad when people behave in a sarcastic or condescending ways or lack compassion or decency for others. I get sad but I don't get angry or offended anymore. I know we are all composed of many, many, many elements such as believes, habits perceptions, feelings, fears, memories etc... As we learn how to shed elements in us that are detrimental, we become closer to re-discover that pure nature that is loving and peace oriented. Do you remember your innocence? Do you remember how to love with all your heart and soul with an intensity that will burst this world away? I do, and I know it is possible to get it back by going within. Love is always there and world peace can be achieved by feeling Inner Peace. It is possible for each one of us.
Just Love and be Peace
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Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator