Healing Fear and Self-Sabotage

Sabotage comes from deep within our subconscious,  so deep that we may not even know we are sabotaging ourselves and may look like it is others who are sabotaging our efforts.  The reason for self-sabotage is always the same: Fear, and recognizing the types of fear and how they sabotage us is very helpful. 

Almost too often you will hear people say that we have to make decisions out of “Love instead of Fear” or the catch phrase “Fear-based” to describe a particular action people take, but it really does not serve you much if you do know the multiple dimensions of Fear.  Is it Fear? Is it Terror? Is it Confusion? Is it a simple Warning? Is this my Inner Wisdom trying to protect me from something that could be detrimental to my life or is this unfounded and completely delusional terror? 

But why do we even feel "fear" really?   

The Melody of Faith

I recently experienced the difference in the levels of Fear and Faith.  Even after all the spiritual deepening I have done, in theory, I knew there were different kinds of fear, but this week  I felt within me the difference in the levels of fear and the different dimensions of faith one can achieve to conquer those fears.

Life has given me the opportunity to expand once again using my talents in a different form.  The change has been very exciting and I have been very eager to follow through my plans.  However, all of the sudden I felt like everything left my body… The inspiration was gone, the enthusiasm was gone, the passion was gone.   I woke up one day and I felt empty.  I remembered my plans and task to do but felt like I had nothing to continue with.  Then I was reminded “Your biggest fear is your biggest gift” All of the sudden I felt fear and depression overcoming my body.  It felt like I was nothing and like everyone else is something except for me.

The Reluctant Bee

The Bee: Your colors are alluring and your petals are so welcoming, yet, I can’t help to think you are fragile compared to me and it feels like I’m desecrating your home whenever I feed off you. 

The Flower: I was born to embrace you, as you spread the essence of my pollen and cultivate the sweetness of my honey.  There is no desecration in that. 

The Bee: But we are so different in form, we do not fit together.

The Flower: But our purpose is the same and we work harmoniously for the continuation of life.  We may not fit in form, but we belong in ideals.

The Bee: I move so fast and you stand still as I feed off your nectar.

The Flower: But even in my stillness I feel it all.  My stillness is not lack of movement, my stillness is contemplation.

The Bee: I was not built to stay.

The Flower: I was built to wait rooted in faith as I bloom.

The Bee: Your magnificent colors make me come back for more.

The Flower: My beauty was made to call upon you, and here we are. 

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

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