Very deep past emotional memories from habitual behavior in our relationships can come back to haunt us in the new relationship we are trying to build. Ask yourself this: Have you ever been truly loved? Have you truly loved?
If you look at yourself now, you can see how the signs of “aging” are showing, but if you sit quietly with your mind, would you notice any signs of maturing? Look at the patterns you are repeating in your relationships, are they still the same patterns that the YOU from the past used to make or have you created new patterns of behavior based on the new person you have become? The beliefs and habits of the YOU from the past got you in that relationship you ended. So, why would the YOU from the past still choose the love partners for the YOU of the present? As we release the relationship that is ending, we should also release the beliefs and habits that helped creating it so that instead of creating a similar one in the future. We should instead, explore from our new point of experience and wisdom to create a new reality for our new relationship.
Now, ask yourself this: Do you want to be happy or do you want to be in love? People are happy when things are going their way and according to their expectation. If things are going your way then you are being pleased, which means someone else is doing the pleasing. But, what happens when that other person stops pleasing? Being happy is not being in love. Being in love means letting yourself feel and explore all the range of emotions that you as a human being are capable of, from one end to the other. You let yourself be joyful as well as sad, compassionate as well as angry, passionate as well as depressed. You can empower as well as blame, forgive and repent. You loose yourself in lust as well as in tenderness and innocence. You FEEL. You aren’t just Happy, you FEEL Happy, plus all the other emotions, after all they all come from the same source: YOU. Explore YOU, know how it FEELS when your love-partner is close and you know how it FEEL when your love-partner is gone and everything in between. Put mindfulness in the feeling of your whole being and find out for yourself.
When you love as a human, you rejoice in each others happiness, you desire with all your heart to bring relief to each others torments, you feel tranquility in each others presence and you feel sadness for each others absence. Human love is ENGAGED emotions. Feel it!
This is human love, human relationships, human behavior, but some people won’t even let themselves FEEL human. They won’t let themselves explore the range of emotions that the human being is capable of. Why? Is it fear of social judgment? Fear of personal vulnerability? Fear of creating “sin”? Fear of creating “desire”? I will tell you something. I do agree that LOVE is all that is and it is more immense than we can ever imagine. It rules the universe and holds everything together, but, in order to experience True, Awaken, Divine Love, you have to let yourself experience human love first. Because, (read this carefully) TRUE LOVE is always Still and Serene, just as air, just as water, just as a flame. It is voided of all emotions coming from our beliefs, habits and senses. But this void is the MID POINT between one end of the emotional range and the other end of the emotional range. So, if you have NEVER let yourself experience the extremes of each emotion, then, you will NEVER know when you have reached the MID POINT, the Serenity and Stillness that TRUE LOVE has to offer. Read this and read it well. There is a true advantage in being humans. Animals have emotions and instinct but their mind is a lot more limited than ours. We have our mind as a powerful source of Awakening and our human body, senses, emotions, intelligence etc, pave our way to get there. I am not talking about getting lost in the indulgence of desires and I am not talking about deprivation of the senses either. All I am saying is: USE your whole human being with awareness. Notice how you feel when you lie, notice how you feel when you are being lied to. Notice how you feel when you kiss, notice how you feel when you are being kissed, Notice how you feel when you are judging. Notice how you feel when you are being judge. I want you to notice everything you feel because hopefully, with mindful practice one day you will notice when ALL THESE EMOTIONS are running through your whole being and then, all of the sudden with a deep breath, you make them all become Still and Serene and you just let TRUE LOVE flow through you. See, if you do not know how the extremes feel, you cannot know how the midpoint of stillness feels either. Human love takes you to awaken love and awaken love is communion with the divine and community with the world. Nobody is born then becomes a saint the next day. It is the awareness of our feelings that make us develop great LOVE for everyone and the universe. It is both ecstasy of the body and stillness of the mind that truly make the human heart joyful. From here, communion with the divine is truly possible.
This article is the property of Mariela Siwarginti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way with the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.
Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator