It is the same thing with our subconscious mind. The divine light is constant but it will only reflect on our subconscious based on where we are. Sometimes we have moments of clarity, we become very aware of what our subconscious is doing, but many other times we become blind and let believes stored in the subconscious run our lives completely.
Some people are afraid of the subconscious because just like the night, it is dark. However, dark does not mean negative… Even negative is not “negative” Negative is a force opposite than positive but every force can be redirected. Permaculture is an agricultural system that believes in creating an environment that is self-sustainable and beneficial to all. Here, we work on harnessing and redirecting the elements of nature such as rain, wind, heat etc. to create a more beneficial ecosystem for the land we are caring. In Spirituality we apply the same concept. Dark is not negative, Dark is just dark because every living thing in this Universe follows a cycle. In our system, the Sun is a constant and everything else revolves, moves, turns, grows, expands. So we have the day and as the world turns it becomes darker and we humans call it “The Night” but the darkness of the night is just a result of the cycle of life, it is not detrimental to our lives. Negative is a force and it can create situations that are detrimental but we can redirect that force to create a life that is more beneficial than detrimental for ourselves and others. The way we apply it in our life is by learning from the situation we are in and gaining wisdom for the next time we encounter a similar situation.
Now, in our subconscious we store memories that have caused an impact to our lives, we store dreams, we store wounds but because it is dark in there, sometimes we don’t know which one is which. Therefore, the subconscious is dark only because it is unknown territory.
Recently I had this profound experience. As a woman, I get my period and of course it comes with pain but once in a while I will experience the same cramping pain and my womb will blow up looking as if I was pregnant when I am not having my period. The only explanation I had for that pain was that I still had a wound that has not healed completely because years ago I experienced a miscarriage. As a healer, many times I have worked on that wound from different angles and across all modalities I know, and to tell you the truth I made great progress but was surprised to feel pain once in a while. I have sat and meditated on the pain looking for a reason or a revelation but nothing came so I just left it alone assuming that it is healing at its own time. A couple months ago one of my sisters said something to me that hurt me deeply regarding motherhood at a time where motherhood dreams were coming to me and as we know, dreams come from the subconscious. I was very vulnerable when she made that comment and was upset to realize that the wound was still there, fresh, not open but fragile. A few weeks ago, someone else made a comment to me about relationships that sadden me and that night my womb blew up and the pain came back. I decided to confess and said “This is it! I confess I cannot do this alone. God I need you. I don’t know how to do this. Please take this wound and heal it and when it is healed let me know so that I can use that part of myself again, then show me how it’s done. I confess that I have much more to learn and I am nothing without you”
The very next day I had a visitation from a friend of mine from High School who died of intestinal cancer. In spirit form she reminded me of a situation we lived together where she experienced convulsions after drinking too much hard alcohol. She told me that particular event along with others, created a lot of feelings of guilt in her which later manifested into cancer. She said consciously she did not want to die and did the best to stay alive, but what she stored in her subconscious was stronger. I told her that I have been afraid of manifesting the same because I don’t know how to heal the wound in my womb so I gave it to God instead. Then she told me clearly “You see, when you gave that wound to God, he did not know what to do because God does not see you as SICK. In his light you are always complete, healthy, unbroken. When you gave him that, he did not see a wound, all he saw was VANISHING DREAMS. He is now returning them to you and he sent me to tell you this. He is returning them to you because he wants you to RECREATE THEM. So what you describe as pain in your womb is not a wound but dreams working on recreating themselves inside you and you are feeling how they are recreating themselves but you think that is the pain of a wound so now you have to start seeing them as dreams that are being rebuilt, because that is truly what this is. This is why he is giving you visions, dreams, and synchronicities of them at this time. He wants you to rebuild those dreams because they are in your subconscious and they are strongly embedded there.” She also told me, that the Belly dancing I do was intuitively guided to redirect the detrimental energy and turn it into positive because belly dancing celebrates the womb and that kept me from manifesting physical illness and she told me to keep doing it.
It was a great joy for me to know I AM healed and that my dreams are wholesome, mine and possible and that even the worst situation I experienced was not as strong as the dreams I have stored in my subconscious.
Now, I don’t see the subconscious as a scary place but as a wonderland full of treasures. It was also a great joy to know I am being heard and that the right help will come my way at anytime and anywhere. It was even a greater joy to be reminded that we are all whole and perfect in the eyes of God. We should really remember this more often to have the faith and courage to make our dreams come true. So, now I want to invite you to do the same, to search for the dreams you have confused as pain and see yourself as whole, perfect and unbroken, the same way God sees you, without judgment without separation and full of wholesome dreams.
Picture and art by Jayne Walther
This article is the property of Mariela Siwarginti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way with the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.
Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator