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Monday, January 1, 2018

How Deep Your Love Is And What Truly Matters

In a relationship and in life, the behavior of people will show you:
How high they honor.
How deep they love.
How they handle stress and adversities.

It is in our discernment to decide if we can live with that kind of behavior or not.  However, some people may not be ready to show you how high the honor or how deep they love yet.  They may need more time to trust, to feel safe around you.  They might not even be able to show you how they handle stress and adversities if everything in their life is going well and they have never gone through a difficult situation yet; this is true for young people and as life goes on they encounter situations where they need to be courageous, grow and become wiser.  I know life has put me in enough hot water to make me resilient and hopeful because I have seen the hand of God working through the unfolding of it. I have learned to trust guidance, be patient with the process and  unattached of the outcome, but it took me years to develop this kind of maturity, so somebody who met me in my teens or twenties and has not seen me since may still think of me as the person I used to be.  But no, life has enough circumstances that help us mature; there are many opportunities to become a better version of ourselves for sure.  The same goes for how high we honor and how deep we love.  I used to think both were the same but they are not.   Someone can love you deeply but may not be able to honor that level of love yet because they have never gone that deep before so they may need to change their ways, believes, habits and that takes willingness and patience from both parties.  I also learned that there is no wrong way to honor because honoring is very personal, some people are eloquent about it; some show it in deeds, some are more private; some are very public about it.  Again, our discernment is in knowing when and how we are being honored as oppose to misjudging someone for not honoring in the same way we do because we are all different therefore we express love and honor in very personal ways.  Love and honor are different; Love is shown in levels of trust, not in levels of honor and trust has to do with feeling safe in the relationship; however here is where most humans go wrong. I have learned that there is no wrong way for honoring but there is very wrong ways to love and trust.  There was a time when I put all my love, trust and safety on the hands of one person.  That is fine and dandy until the relationship comes to an end. It sure leaves you feeling like you could not love or trust again because your safety was taken away from you, so little by little you grow cold and can sabotage future relationships, even when you are treated well.  A few years ago I was given a revelation about it.  The Universe revealed to me how at the very young age of two I put my love, trust and safety in my great grandfather and when he died I felt so insecure that I almost died as well but it was not time for me to go yet, so wounded I continued and the Universe showed me how in order to continue I put my love trust and safety on a Kermit the frog puppet I had, but one day that puppet disappeared and then I found another person who I decided to put all my love, trust and safety in. Ironically, that person died as well and that was when I decided to close my heart from loving anyone.  At a very young age, unconsciously I decided that, so unconsciously I went through life not truly loving and every time life would find me someone who I thought I could love that person would have to leave town for some reason but because I was not as open as when I was younger, it did not affected me much. That was until I met my first husband. That relationship opened me enough to truly hurt when the relationship was over.  The wound was as deep as the first one when I was two years old.  The Universe revealed the similarities and the need to heal the root cause of it, AND I DID!  After the revelation and seeing all patterns of behavior since age of two, I got the breakthrough I needed and decided to put my love, trust and safety IN THE RIGHT PLACE…. ME.

Then, an authentic journey of self-love started.  I realized how I am the best person to make me feel safe of the environment I am in, the people I am with and the situations that come my way. I wasn’t waiting for anyone to do it for me anymore.  So, my Inner Child started trusting ME.  My Inner Child was experiencing my Love and little by little started lowering the shields to show me forgotten dreams, abilities and my true essence.  Here is where I learned that Love and Honor where not the same because my Inner Child will reveal forgotten dreams, so now it was up to ME to honor those wholehearted desires by taking action and making them happen.  I also learned that even Love and Passion where different. I used to think of passion just as a high romantic display of affection for another person but the Universe also corrected that when it made me see that I was also waiting for someone to show passion for me when I can rightfully show passion for myself.  The revelation made me see that passion is action.  Passion does not live in the mind or the heart.  Passion lives in the action we take to get something we love deeply to honor it highly, not for a moment, not for a while but for good because true love and honor transcend into the future.  This is why passionate people make history.  We admire people for their passion and their passion is in their action to change their lives or the lives or others.  

Since all these revelations I also saw how my level of prioritizing and handling stress and adversities changed as well because I discovered how deeply I am capable of loving and how to find higher ways to honor what I love, always making me feel safe along the way.  Because I can make myself feel safe, I can now freely and authentically love others in the way my Heart was built to love.  I no longer wait for someone to show me love in order to love them back. I am the source, the home, the refuge and this new way to be allows me to be kinder, more patient and less demanding with others showing me how deep they love and how high they honor.  I am and feel taken care of, so I can give others the space and time to reveal their true essence to me.
The effect of this is that their Inner Child senses my sincerity in not wanting to take anything from them or expecting anything from them, so they lower their shields also and they see me as one less threat in this world. Let me tell you, in a world that demands, blames, and punishes to be one less threat is to be truly a being of Peace, which I have always know to be my true essence.  I don’t have to teach it, I don’t have to speak about it anymore, I’m finally becoming it and I know that as this journey continues the Universe will find ways to show me how deep a human can love and how high one can possible honor self and others.

There is a new phase in my life.  I am newly married with a baby on its way and all I can say is that I am glad that the Universe revealed all this, allowed me to heal and become wiser for me and my family to experience the authentic love I am capable of offering that will keep deepening as I find higher ways to honor them, my self, our marriage and family relationship.  Stress and adversities may come, but when they do, I will be ready to make myself feel safe and handle them to come out of them even more loving than before.


This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator
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