I am a Mother and I am a Child

Originally written on: 6/6/2014, completed on 12/18/2014

“Tell me who doesn't love what can never come back

You can never forget how it used to feel

The illusion is deep

It’s as deep as the night

I can tell by your tears, you remember it all”  ~ The Cure, The Blood

In June 2013, I experienced a miscarriage.  At first it was hard to acknowledge it because it happened early in the pregnancy and it was not physically dramatic as what I have heard from others.  It was more emotional, mental and energetic.  It was also physical of course, in the sense that the fetus left my body, but it wasn’t physically painful for me.  It was painful in my emotions, my mind and my soul because I prepared and planned very thoroughly for it.  

The Enlightened Being

8/25/2014 (New Moon)

Again, something amazing happened so that I can receive a clear message.  This past few days I had high emotions and I had plans today that did not materialize because I was not feeling well.  I decided to take a nap, but when I woke up I did not feel any different, so I did other things to get out of the mood that was hounding me.  I danced, I took a shower and I went for a walk to the lake with the intention to put my feet on the grass and let Mother Nature nurture me with Prana energy.

It was a beautiful day and I felt good as I was walking to that magical place I found that has become my sanctuary and Chestnut’s playground.  When I got there, I noticed this pigeon on the ground by the bushes standing still.  I started walking towards it to take a picture, but knowing pigeons I knew it was gonna fly away quickly, but this one didn’t.