Healing Fear and Self-Sabotage

Sabotage comes from deep within our subconscious,  so deep that we may not even know we are sabotaging ourselves and may look like it is others who are sabotaging our efforts.  The reason for self-sabotage is always the same: Fear, and recognizing the types of fear and how they sabotage us is very helpful. 

Almost too often you will hear people say that we have to make decisions out of “Love instead of Fear” or the catch phrase “Fear-based” to describe a particular action people take, but it really does not serve you much if you do know the multiple dimensions of Fear.  Is it Fear? Is it Terror? Is it Confusion? Is it a simple Warning? Is this my Inner Wisdom trying to protect me from something that could be detrimental to my life or is this unfounded and completely delusional terror? 

But why do we even feel "fear" really?   

Spiritual Treason

Light workers of the world. Step away from martyr-hood and step into your messiah-hood.

The biggest delusion is to believe that manifested humans make decisions and can run your life when you know you have an eternal being within that orchestrates situations that give us the opportunity to be that higher self and respond to situations from a higher consciousness supported by deep love that flows from our hearts. We know this, and we have practiced it. Now, it’s time to truly embody it. Unify with that higher consciousness, it is the "Ultimate Surrender", then roll up your human sleeves and let’s get to work.

Liberating the Mind from Guilt and Self-Punishment

“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

~ Matthew 7:2

Understanding as Healing: Understanding any subject in a different way produces healing.  Some animals see only few colors, most humans see a lot more colors but there are insects such as bees and butterflies that can see ultraviolet colors.  Now, imagine if all of the sudden we would see a brand new color.  Imagine how many new things we could design, invent or create with that; new textiles, paint, make-up, etc.  The world would suddenly expand with new possibilities.  It is the same thing with understanding, when you have a new understanding, you expand your possibilities and opportunities and end previous limitations.  The mind becomes liberated from an old pattern of behavior and develops a new one, an upgraded one.

An Ocean of Lies, a Journey of Darkness

Even in the ocean of calmness there is debris.  Don’t ever judge yourself harshly then create false information (lies) to hide in a cage of self-judgment.  When the other people pierce through the veil of that false information you created, they will only see the prison of self-judgment you created for yourself and instead of helping you out, they will help judge you because that was what you created.  Don’t be surprise when people judge you in the same manner you judge yourself.  Even the ocean has debris, but that debris are also part of nature.  You cannot avoid the way nature flows because you are also nature.  Accept yourself as you are.  Life is always in a state of flux and debris will come and go based on the flow of the elements in nature.  See yourself as always in divine harmony, accept and love yourself to avoid creating false information and delusion for others.  Even when you think you have let yourself or others down, if you start remembering all the other great things you have done, drop self-judgment and completely love yourself, then people will do that too because that is what you are creating.  You may think that by creating false information you are protecting yourself or others, but the truth is that people can sense the energy of that delusion you crated.  They know it is false and when they discover it, they will only help you continue to create what you created, either a prison of self-judgment or acceptance, forgiveness and love for yourself.  You decide, this is your life, your thoughts, your creation, your reality.  

I'm gonna say I Love You...

Even if you believe prayer does not work, believe this;

I’m sorry you are in pain. I’m sorry you are frustrated.  I’m sorry that you are sad. I’m sorry you can’t find a solution.  I’m sorry you have battled this for so long.  I’m sorry that I don’t know how to help you. I’m sorry that you don’t know what else to do.  I’m sorry that you think this shouldn’t be happening. I’m sorry that I don’t know what else to tell you but I LOVE YOU. 

And I’m gonna say I love you until you feel better. I’m gonna say I love you until stop crying.  I’m gonna say I love you until you remember how wonderful you truly are. I’m gonna say I love you until the pain goes away. I’m gonna say I love you until God hears you.  I’m gonna say I love you until you get up and smile.  I’m gonna say I love you until you feel loved.  I’m gonna say I love you until a solution comes.  I’m gonna say I love you until Love is all there is.   

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you...

This is my prayer, and it comes from the Love in my heart. That, transforms.

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

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Not a Dull Moment Ever!

In the summer of 2014 I was told: "Rejection is not refusing someone.  You do not reject the person; you reject the experience that person is offering. Every time you interact with someone new, you actually give birth to a whole new world that did not exist before and it can go as deep and broad as you keep the relationship.  Energetically the depth of that experience can be too much for the other person to handle at the moment so they say “No” and that is ok because not everyone can handle opening up a new world because when a new world opens up, Personal Expansion comes into play and some people may no be willing to expand into that direction. Truly, we all can feel the energy of where we want to go and we will follow that.  Some with more resistance than others but eventually we expand into the direction of where we flow, so if someone says no to you, they are not rejecting you, they are just not willing to expand into that direction.  Either that whole new world is energy too new for them to recognize and follow or it is to strong to handle or just not where they are naturally flowing to. And it can be temporary too, maybe they are not willing to give birth to that new world just yet, but that can change based on changes that happen in life because everything is impermanent anyway.  Instead of worrying about people saying no, what you have to be sure is that the world you are offering, the experience you are offering is truly the essence of YOU.  So, what is that you want to offer?  Define that. How worthy is it? How worthy are you? How do you value yourself”

Attraction and the Young and Naive

One day I was told.  “You move too fast, if you would first find the Alliance you would understand everything better and it would be more beneficial.”

There is attraction among all of us.  Attraction is a sort of revelation, a revelation that there is a kind of familiarity with a person you have never met before but for some reason you drop your guard to connect and become curious about them.  This is attraction and it happens with any person, whether you are heterosexual or not, we are all attracted to someone of the same sex or the opposite sex but it has nothing sexual about it.

Advice from the Inner Child

• When you love me, you love yourself. Honor every piece that composes your being. Be in love with your heart, be amazed by your mind.  

• You are worthy of all your wholesome desires whether you have someone to share them with or not. Accept all that is yours when it comes.

• Your True Nature is Innocence, learn to forgive yourself for not knowing you have hurt others or yourself. Set yourself free to reflect your true state of Innocence.

•  Your heart doesn't want to be right, your heart wants to be happy. Share the wisdom you have acquired without imposing on anyone's beliefs. We all have the right to create our own magical world.   

• You did not come here to die for anyone and your job is not to save anyone either. Your job is actually a lot easier than that. Just get up every morning, brush your teeth and show that big smile to everyone you encounter. People take a mental picture of everything they see, show your kindness with a big smile they can remember you by. 

•  If someone is sad, remind them of their greatness. If someone is happy, celebrate along with them. If someone is angry, remember their greatness. If someone shows gratitude, accept with graciousness.

• If you are sad, express it without blaming anyone. If you are happy, express it with grace. If you are angry, express it without victimizing anyone. If you are grateful, express it lovingly. 

• Be always ready to play and win. Do not limit yourself by thinking that you have to wait for your turn or that you have to compete to play. New rules of the game: All play, all have fun, all win, because the Universe is our source and it is boundless and timeless.

 

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

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Ghost of Christmas Past…The End of Fear

A friend of mine triggered a very important question. “If you could turn back time, what would you do differently, using the wisdom you have now?”

My friend and I were both dealing with stiffness in our back.  She told me how this has happened before to her years ago and it was interesting that other similar situations were happening that made her think this whole thing was very familiar to what happened to her years ago, so I asked her the question, we talked about it she was able to find resolution and relief for her situation.  So, for me, it was similar where this stiffness was very familiar to the one I experienced almost 15 years ago, so I searched within to find out what could be triggering this reaction.  Then I remember that at the time I had the stiffness I wanted to change my life but stopped myself from doing it.  I was working at a great company and had great coworkers but I did not enjoy what I did.   I wanted to use my creative abilities more, so I decided to go back to college for digital media and design. At that time I was pressured by my husband to not leave my job since it was a source of income and brought stability to the home.  What I wanted and thought could handle was to work part time and go to school full time but agreed to do the opposite to keep the peace at home.  I was doing good in school but became afraid that my bosses would find out and fire me for taking classes different from the career I was already in, so I kept it quiet to keep the peace.  I was able to finish one semester with excellent grades but I was not celebrated or even encouraged to keep going.  It seemed like I had to hide this from people and the few people who knew did not care, so I found the whole thing to be very discouraging.  I did not know it at that time but unconsciously not being able to talk about my dreams and goals openly, plus fear of displeasing people, plus lack of support from loved ones and myself discouraged me from going back so unconsciously I started finding reasons different from the subconscious feelings to stop myself from continuing the changes in my life.  Now that I am more aware and conscious of my actions and reactions and even my subconscious patterns I can see that the girl I used to be did not know that all she needed was HER OWN approval and support to empower herself to continue with her plans.  Yes, I am a different person now and after experiencing who I was, I can tell you that I have nothing but love and compassion for the person I used to be and in her honor now I do the things I always wanted to do. 

Impulse and the Heart

Impulses are ideas that come from the innocence of the heart and the innocence of the heart is an aspect of the soul.  Impulses are ideas that the soul has about the things it would like to experience next.  The soul says: “This! I would love to experience this”. The thing is, that impulses are great as ideas only, they are not so good when we act them out “impulsively” because the right conditions or resources or wisdom to carry them out may not be available yet. 

I wanna belly dance!

This is when our logic side should come in but not to stop us from doing it but to find out what is needed in order to experience that idea with the same good feeling as when the idea was born.  So, don't get worked up about not having the right conditions, resources or wisdom to make the dream of your heart a reality now.  But, have your eyes, heart and intuition open for when the right resources appear. 

In the meantime, put all the dreams you would love to experience but don't have the necessary things to make them happen, inside a drawer in your heart until you get what you need... and just trust.

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

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The Moon and the Subconscious; liberating the Mind from guilt and allowing the Heart to express its dreams

The moon only shines as a reflection of the light the sun emanates.  Based on its different position, sometimes we see it shine fully, partially or not at all.  The funny thing is, it is always there.  The sun is constantly shining but the moon reflects the light based on its position.

It is the same thing with our subconscious mind.  The divine light is constant but it will only reflect on our subconscious based on where we are.  Sometimes we have moments of clarity, we become very aware of what our subconscious is doing, but many other times we become blind and let believes stored in the subconscious run our lives completely. 

Fading In and Out

The heart said: go ahead, speak and bare this soul.

There is a feeling hidden deep inside me. It comes out as I type the words that I sense they are.  As my eyes read them, tears of tenderness start rolling down my cheeks. When my lips speak them out loud, my ears let my heart listen to what the soul has just said and the heart rejoices.  The translation of the feeling of my soul may not be exact but the heart knows it’s full of love anyway and it is grateful to have me as a conduit of their communication.  My heart says, “It is perfect! Now go out and tell the world how much we love each other.”

As they both communicate, I fade away, as they both communicate, I fade away…

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

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Conversation with a Tree

Me: You know, people say, it’s a good thing we don’t have roots like trees because we can move and go anywhere we want to.

Tree: All I see you do is move, like you are running away from something and never finding what you are searching for.  Me, instead, I AM here rooted in love and rooted in love I BELONG, there is nothing else I need, nothing else to search for.

The loving Heart is Nature

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

Reiki ~ Pranic Healing ~ Archangelic Light ~ Rites of Passage Shamanic Ceremonies ~ Dream Interpretation ~ Spiritual Insight ~ Tarot/Intuitive readings ~ Munay-Ki Rites ~ Meditation Guidance ~ Local or long-distance services
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The Melody of Faith

I recently experienced the difference in the levels of Fear and Faith.  Even after all the spiritual deepening I have done, in theory, I knew there were different kinds of fear, but this week  I felt within me the difference in the levels of fear and the different dimensions of faith one can achieve to conquer those fears.

Life has given me the opportunity to expand once again using my talents in a different form.  The change has been very exciting and I have been very eager to follow through my plans.  However, all of the sudden I felt like everything left my body… The inspiration was gone, the enthusiasm was gone, the passion was gone.   I woke up one day and I felt empty.  I remembered my plans and task to do but felt like I had nothing to continue with.  Then I was reminded “Your biggest fear is your biggest gift” All of the sudden I felt fear and depression overcoming my body.  It felt like I was nothing and like everyone else is something except for me.

Deepening Human Connections

The experiences we have in our daily life when we interact with people are just circumstantial.  Our day is full in quantity but not truly in quality and I think our days would be fuller, more meaningful if we stop for a few minutes and find a deeper meaning of why we crossed paths with that person today, why is that person in my life now.  Most of the time things are highlighted on that other person that makes us notice him/her, like a strange hat or a cool vest etc, but we either judge them silently in our minds or only stay for a second to give them a compliment about it.  Instead, if we would stay longer to find out more about why that person crossed our path and why this item was highlighted for us, we will then discover a story with deeper meaning with the potential to fulfill our heart and will also connect us with that human more profoundly.  If we would act like this everyday we would not be so quick to judge people based on circumstantial stuff.  I do not want to say that it is wrong, but I want to say that it has become a insensitive habit. 

We seek for deeper connection so we should give ourselves more time to actually connect. 



Wherever you are today, love that part of you who seeks to connect to all that it loves even when those things are not available yet. Be present and aware of the experience and grateful that your heart was built this way. Love how passionately your heart loves!

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

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The Reluctant Bee

The Bee: Your colors are alluring and your petals are so welcoming, yet, I can’t help to think you are fragile compared to me and it feels like I’m desecrating your home whenever I feed off you. 

The Flower: I was born to embrace you, as you spread the essence of my pollen and cultivate the sweetness of my honey.  There is no desecration in that. 

The Bee: But we are so different in form, we do not fit together.

The Flower: But our purpose is the same and we work harmoniously for the continuation of life.  We may not fit in form, but we belong in ideals.

The Bee: I move so fast and you stand still as I feed off your nectar.

The Flower: But even in my stillness I feel it all.  My stillness is not lack of movement, my stillness is contemplation.

The Bee: I was not built to stay.

The Flower: I was built to wait rooted in faith as I bloom.

The Bee: Your magnificent colors make me come back for more.

The Flower: My beauty was made to call upon you, and here we are. 

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

Reiki ~ Pranic Healing ~ Archangelic Light ~ Rites of Passage Shamanic Ceremonies ~ Dream Interpretation ~ Spiritual Insight ~ Tarot/Intuitive readings ~ Munay-Ki Rites ~ Meditation Guidance ~ Local or long-distance services
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The Lotus Flower, More Than An Object of Veneration

I recently had this dream where they showed me this beautiful bright pink Lotus Flower and it was being placed in a floating altar.  Then I heard: “When you put a Lotus flower in an altar you can only admire it’s beauty and that is not practical”.  When I woke up I remembered the characteristics of a Lotus Flower. How it rises above the mud in order to bloom and how its roots help purify the muddy water.  In Buddhism we have the Lotus Sutra and it is one of the most important Sutras of Buddhism. Buddhist Pureland practice say you will be reborn inside a Lotus Flower and listen to the Dharma until you are ready to reach Nirvana. My intention is not to say that this is true or not.  I just want to put emphasis on how highly regarded the Lotus Flower is.  So yes, it is highly admired and venerated but whatever your object of veneration is, should be practical not just mental.

No Longer Without Love

The inner child is a fantastic communicator because just like a little child it will be creative and inventive to get your attention and because it is a little child, it will also have a touch of innocence mixed with some shines and playfulness. 

For the longest time I have been hearing these song in my head and asking Who do they belong too? What do they mean? Tell me more about what they represent.  Two weeks ago I realized that once I connect with people, I can step into their vibration and the song I hear not only represents how they are feeling but the songs also represent a part in me that has felt that way before and it triggers that feeling forward.  People’s energy, vibration, feelings, trigger something in my heart and the song is the translation of what my heart is picking up.  My heart is actually very smart.  When I was little, I used to listen to radio 24/7.  I have always loved music and while listening to the radio I noticed how lovers used to call the station to dedicate a song to a loved one.  I truly believed that was the most romantic thing anyone can do.  I used to love it when someone will go and serenate their loved one by the window too.  I experienced that once and it felt silly and lovely.  I love it! LOL.  I grew up somewhat disconnected from my heart because I suffered the loss of loved ones at a very early age so after doing a lot of healing these past years I understood I disconnected from my heart to protect myself from emotional pain.  This created a gap between me and my heart but without even knowing, my heart never gave up on me.  Because my heart was not able to get my attention, in order to reach me, my heart dedicates these songs to me to get my attention.  My heart, just like a little child knew how much I love song dedications so it sends these songs to me, not only to get my attention but also to tell me what it felt in my vibration or the vibration of other person.   My heart recognizes and feels the suffering of the person is connected to, then to get my attention it dedicates that song to me, not only to get my attention but also so that I can become present and propel the divine love machine so that together, me and my heart can send love and healing to the person who is feeling this and also to send love and healing to the part in my heart that feels the pain and suffering too.

Instant Pleasure

A great teacher told me years ago, “Do always your best; and how do you do your best?  By getting rid of the distractions”  I was like “Ohhhh, I see”… But I never really stopped to think what a distraction really is.  On Wednesday, January 6, I woke up hearing this message: “Whatever gives you Instant Pleasure, that is a distraction”, then I went, What?  Instant pleasure? Hmmm?  Then the message continued to say: “Instant pleasure is never long-lasting so it makes you go back for more to keep a steady feeling of happiness but it is a false sense of happiness.  It keeps you constantly igniting it to get some satisfaction out of it but it is false, too instant and does not fill your craving so it leaves you craving for more pleasure, hence it distracts you from doing the things that truly matter in your life.  It is not that your attention span is short or anything of the sort, it has nothing to do with your concentration, it is that instant pleasure is not long lasting so you keep pursuing it and time does not stand still.  So, instead of seeking for instant pleasure, lay a foundation that will produce long lasting happiness for the rest of YOUR LIFE.  See the big picture, invest your time now in something that will produce happiness for the years to come. Work on your foundations.”

So there… messages from a higher perspective, a higher self, another dimension… whatever you want to call it, I am glad something greater than my current self is looking out for me and brining understanding into my life. This is something I cannot even argue about and I know it is in my best interest to follow through.   I want to share it because I hope this somehow helps you as well ;)

No, I must belly dance now!

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

Reiki ~ Pranic Healing ~ Archangelic Light ~ Rites of Passage Shamanic Ceremonies ~ Dream Interpretation ~ Spiritual Insight ~ Tarot/Intuitive readings ~ Munay-Ki Rites ~ Meditation Guidance ~ Local or long-distance services
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Stupid Bitch!

Dreams are a conversation between You and you and when you explore them further you gain a better understanding of where you are, what you can become or what you have become.

Someone recently told me she had a dream where she was supposed to come visit me but instead she changed her plan and decided to go see her other friend instead and when she told me of her decision over the phone I got upset and called her “Stupid bitch” then she said she continued to explain that the day is not over yet and she could still come later but she did not make the explanation dramatic and she did not get upset about my judgment towards her but she was surprised of it.  Then her friend hugged her and said, “Everything is going to be OK” then the phone vanished.  This was her dream and she wanted my input on the meaning.  So I asked her, well what do I represent in your life?  She said, “You are someone I respect and I also wish you would explore yourself in all dimensions”.  I remembered then that she also told me of her recent life change; moving back with her parents after living on her own for years.  She has been experiencing constant scrutiny from her parents and this has created a reaction to justify and defend her behavior.  In the dream the family she lives with is not criticizing her; the person criticizing is a person she respects.  Yet, there are no feelings of Guilt, Shame or Fear in her explanation of why she chose to visit another friend first. So, what the subconscious mind is telling her is that She has transcend those feelings of guilt, shame and fear and that even an explanation of why she does something is not really to defend or justify herself; those explanations have just become Conversation, Communication. Her friend hugging her and telling her everything will be OK is confirmation that she has transcended those feeling and will no longer be plagued by the criticism of others. The phone vanishing is a sign of choice.  Since explanation is only conversation/communication, it is her choice to provide it or not.  It is no longer even needed. 

People have the choice to criticize but you feeling plagued by the need to justify your behavior is not necessary.  She may have moved back to her parents and experience unwanted criticism the way she used to experience it when she was a kid or a teenager but she is no longer that person anymore, she has matured and she has done a great job defining who she really is and what she really wants without succumbing into feelings that are detrimental to her never-ending growth.  
This was a short dream with profound meaning.  Look into your dreams and see yourself unfolding into new possibilities. See yourself in a new light.  See yourself as who you truly are.  Listen to what you have to say about you and rejoice of this intimate conversation.

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

Reiki ~ Pranic Healing ~ Archangelic Light ~ Rites of Passage Shamanic Ceremonies ~ Dream Interpretation ~ Spiritual Insight ~ Tarot/Intuitive readings ~ Munay-Ki Rites ~ Meditation Guidance ~ Local or long-distance services
Testimonials ~ Services and Pricing