What about that Inner Critic?

Instead of fighting your inner critic why not just befriend it?

We can be too hard on ourselves because we don’t know how to just hang out with ourselves.

Like that best friend from childhood. We didn’t judge them, we loved them.

Be friendly.

Be your best friend.

Just hang out with yourself and enjoy your own company.

Let yourself make any decisions and grow at your own pace.

Extend yourself that kind of treatment, that kind of friendship and love.

Imagine a judge entering the courtroom. While he is behind that bench and wearing that coat he will perform his duty to enforce all laws he has the authority to enforce. However, as soon as he is finished he will step down the bench, take the coat off and go home. Let me ask you, who do you think he is after he goes home? How does he behave? What does he do?

Now, consider this, during our childhood we were constantly being judged. Our behavior, our development, our expression, our critical thinking, etc. We were praised to continue with what we were doing or criticized to stop what we were doing and even punished in many cases or even abused in some unfortunate cases. The point is, judgment was constant.

Something I learned from my experiences as a healer is that the subconscious mind does not know how to discern. That is the job of the conscious mind, and we must train it to do so. The subconscious mind records automatically based on repetition of experiences and then just runs what was programmed there. Situations we encounter triggers us to hit the play button of an specific programming and if we have not trained our conscious mind how to discern, the subconscious mind will just run the whole show, but when we engage a well discerning conscious mind we can stop ourselves from repeating patterns of behavior that could be unhealthy. So what happens is, because we lived through so much judgment during our childhood, our mind understands that there's got to be a judge always present, so even if all the people who judged you as a child were to leave your life, the way they judge you was already programmed in you, so a part of yourself takes the role of that judge.

I have said in my sessions before, "The punished, becomes the punisher and the abused becomes the abuser". And you may not feel like you punish others or abused others, but chances are, your subconscious mind will apply that programing on yourself. You may be doing a very conscious effort not to treat others the way you were treated in your childhood but it becomes more difficult when we attempt NOT to punish or abused ourselves because we cannot separate the judge from the one who is being judge inside of us.

Something that helps me tremendously is to separate myself into different parts. Truly, we are composed by many, many elements. Our cells, organs, emotions, conscious, subconscious, soul... "Many are One and One are Many" It is actually a Buddhist approach. It helps because you can notice in your body how there is a part of you judging you but there is another part of who who suffers because of this self-judgment AND there is even a BIGGER part of you who knows the Judge is wrong!

So, I wrote this not to tell you that you have become your own worst enemy but to tell you that you do not need to continue to be at war with yourself. You do not need to defend yourself from the inner judge and you do not have to fight back or attack it either. The great news I want to share with you is that the judge inside you was never originally a judge. It was just assigned that role by the repetitive patters of judgment you experienced in your early life. Just like the Judge in the courtroom who wears the black coat and sits behind the bench to perform his duty. However, remember, when the judge in the courtroom goes home, he stops being the judge and becomes someone else. In the same manner, that part in us that was assigned as the inner judge has a more pure origin. It is this purity that we should seek to discover. We can actually disarm and return the inner critic to it's purity by recognizing it is present and becoming consciously lighter with ourselves, more kind, gentle and if possible, doing the opposite of what it is suggesting so that we stop punishing or abusing ourselves. With that we start sending the message to that part of ourselves that was assigned as the judge to be off duty, to be itself, its true self. It is even possible to consciously be its best friend. Love it, instead of blaming, like that best friend in our childhood. Acknowledge its presence and just hang out with it. With the constant practice of taking it off duty, you will discover its true purpose and gift for your life. You will actually get to know a more free version of yourself.

Imagine the relief and peace in that! Free at last!!!

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti

Empath & Intuitive

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

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The Guiding Light of Compassion

Compassion is guilt that has been released of all judgment.  So forgive yourself often to release all judgment and liberate yourself from guilt. 
Experience full compassion. 
Experience your innocence.  
Acts of kindness will follow.

    

My Ancestors came this morning and said: “We would like a word with you”.

I went “Oh, Oh”. 

I knew it had to be something big.  I usually feel my Ancestors behind me, supporting me, they are always there but they rarely talk.  

I knew it had to be big but I said: “I’m running late now”.  

They said: “Don’t worry, we will be in touch”

Liberating the Mind from Guilt and Self-Punishment

“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

~ Matthew 7:2

Understanding as Healing: Understanding any subject in a different way produces healing.  Some animals see only few colors, most humans see a lot more colors but there are insects such as bees and butterflies that can see ultraviolet colors.  Now, imagine if all of the sudden we would see a brand new color.  Imagine how many new things we could design, invent or create with that; new textiles, paint, make-up, etc.  The world would suddenly expand with new possibilities.  It is the same thing with understanding, when you have a new understanding, you expand your possibilities and opportunities and end previous limitations.  The mind becomes liberated from an old pattern of behavior and develops a new one, an upgraded one.

An Ocean of Lies, a Journey of Darkness

Even in the ocean of calmness there is debris.  Don’t ever judge yourself harshly then create false information (lies) to hide in a cage of self-judgment.  When the other people pierce through the veil of that false information you created, they will only see the prison of self-judgment you created for yourself and instead of helping you out, they will help judge you because that was what you created.  Don’t be surprise when people judge you in the same manner you judge yourself.  Even the ocean has debris, but that debris are also part of nature.  You cannot avoid the way nature flows because you are also nature.  Accept yourself as you are.  Life is always in a state of flux and debris will come and go based on the flow of the elements in nature.  See yourself as always in divine harmony, accept and love yourself to avoid creating false information and delusion for others.  Even when you think you have let yourself or others down, if you start remembering all the other great things you have done, drop self-judgment and completely love yourself, then people will do that too because that is what you are creating.  You may think that by creating false information you are protecting yourself or others, but the truth is that people can sense the energy of that delusion you crated.  They know it is false and when they discover it, they will only help you continue to create what you created, either a prison of self-judgment or acceptance, forgiveness and love for yourself.  You decide, this is your life, your thoughts, your creation, your reality.  

Ghost of Christmas Past…The End of Fear

A friend of mine triggered a very important question. “If you could turn back time, what would you do differently, using the wisdom you have now?”

My friend and I were both dealing with stiffness in our back.  She told me how this has happened before to her years ago and it was interesting that other similar situations were happening that made her think this whole thing was very familiar to what happened to her years ago, so I asked her the question, we talked about it she was able to find resolution and relief for her situation.  So, for me, it was similar where this stiffness was very familiar to the one I experienced almost 15 years ago, so I searched within to find out what could be triggering this reaction.  Then I remember that at the time I had the stiffness I wanted to change my life but stopped myself from doing it.  I was working at a great company and had great coworkers but I did not enjoy what I did.   I wanted to use my creative abilities more, so I decided to go back to college for digital media and design. At that time I was pressured by my husband to not leave my job since it was a source of income and brought stability to the home.  What I wanted and thought could handle was to work part time and go to school full time but agreed to do the opposite to keep the peace at home.  I was doing good in school but became afraid that my bosses would find out and fire me for taking classes different from the career I was already in, so I kept it quiet to keep the peace.  I was able to finish one semester with excellent grades but I was not celebrated or even encouraged to keep going.  It seemed like I had to hide this from people and the few people who knew did not care, so I found the whole thing to be very discouraging.  I did not know it at that time but unconsciously not being able to talk about my dreams and goals openly, plus fear of displeasing people, plus lack of support from loved ones and myself discouraged me from going back so unconsciously I started finding reasons different from the subconscious feelings to stop myself from continuing the changes in my life.  Now that I am more aware and conscious of my actions and reactions and even my subconscious patterns I can see that the girl I used to be did not know that all she needed was HER OWN approval and support to empower herself to continue with her plans.  Yes, I am a different person now and after experiencing who I was, I can tell you that I have nothing but love and compassion for the person I used to be and in her honor now I do the things I always wanted to do.