I am a Mother and I am a Child

Originally written on: 6/6/2014, completed on 12/18/2014

“Tell me who doesn't love what can never come back

You can never forget how it used to feel

The illusion is deep

It’s as deep as the night

I can tell by your tears, you remember it all”  ~ The Cure, The Blood

In June 2013, I experienced a miscarriage.  At first it was hard to acknowledge it because it happened early in the pregnancy and it was not physically dramatic as what I have heard from others.  It was more emotional, mental and energetic.  It was also physical of course, in the sense that the fetus left my body, but it wasn’t physically painful for me.  It was painful in my emotions, my mind and my soul because I prepared and planned very thoroughly for it.  

The Enlightened Being

8/25/2014 (New Moon)

Again, something amazing happened so that I can receive a clear message.  This past few days I had high emotions and I had plans today that did not materialize because I was not feeling well.  I decided to take a nap, but when I woke up I did not feel any different, so I did other things to get out of the mood that was hounding me.  I danced, I took a shower and I went for a walk to the lake with the intention to put my feet on the grass and let Mother Nature nurture me with Prana energy.

It was a beautiful day and I felt good as I was walking to that magical place I found that has become my sanctuary and Chestnut’s playground.  When I got there, I noticed this pigeon on the ground by the bushes standing still.  I started walking towards it to take a picture, but knowing pigeons I knew it was gonna fly away quickly, but this one didn’t.  

Family Ties

10/19/2014

When a family member that has been a pillar or core component in the family tree transcends this realm, everybody else in the family tree moves places like board-game pieces, with someone taking the place of the person who transcended and everyone else taking another position in the family tree. This can be in an energetic (meaning thought/emotional form) or religious way (meaning taking physically part in a church/temple/institution) or both.  This also changes the complete relationship and harmony of the whole family tree because, the members taking place introduce new energy, ideas, behavior and patterns.  However, just as I explained in another story, when patterns are shifted chaos occurs before harmony can come again.  Then, the family becomes a new kingdom, a new dynasty.

The Injured Girl/Bird

4/26/2014

This morning I woke up completely off. Hopeless I should say.  I have been working on faith for quite a while, not really grasping the idea at first but lately, I have been feeling it building up on me.  In the beginning of the month, I understood that faith in me as well as on many people has been replaced by clinging.  We cling on things, beliefs or people and when they are taken away we find something else to cling on.  I understood then that the purpose of faith is to truly believe that the unseen is present at all times, just unseen.  There are so many divine deities and there is so much wellness, love and abundance but because we believe more in the world of form that the ethereal then we doubt the existence of all this wellness, goodness and blessings so we cling on matter instead and we suffer when matter change or cease to exist.  

Remedy Water

7/7/2012

Every night when I was little, my mom used to make herbal teas to drink after dinner.  Although, in our hometown, we do not call it tea, we call it "Aguita de Remedio" which translates to "Remedy Water".  Back then, I did not give it a lot of thought and in fact, I didn't even care for its taste because it was just herbs in hot water with no sugar or fizz to it.  Every night she would prepare herbal tea with a different herb, chamomile, lemon balm, mint, fennel, etc. and she will remind us of the medicinal use for the herb. 

Energy Medicine

6/16/2014

In this field we believe that the body starts getting ill at an energetic level first caused by damaging or limiting believes in our mind and triggered by our attachment to those beliefs when we are witnessing the environment around us.  If that is not treated then it affects our emotional body, this is where people start feeling the first symptoms of what later becomes physical decease.  The longer we hold on to damaging believes and the longer we ignore or suppress our emotions, the more ill the physical body will become.  Once a problem becomes physical then it has to be treated at every level so that it does not show up again.  Medication and counseling help but only partially at the physical and emotional level.   Adding energy therapies can clear the root cause of the illness and it makes the patient more aware of what is in their mind and emotions, also triggers and other limiting believes that sabotage their well being. In addition, receiving or giving energy medicine helps us become more receptive and able to tap into other energy fields around us that are beneficial to our well being, like trees, plants, animals, water, air, all these natural wonders, diminishing our risk to become ill again and our dependency on others to help us heal.

Patterns

2/22/2013

Patterns are nothing but hard-core habits and habits are nothing but repetitive actions. However, all these habits/patterns exist so that harmony and balance can prevail. All patterns work harmoniously.  They may not be of benefit to everyone or every living being but they all work harmoniously to achieve balance. 

Most patterns are created at an unconscious level but all of them are perceived at an intuitive level. 

The only reason I say “MOST” is because through out the ages we have demonstrated to work at an unconscious level.  For example, when we learn to drive a car we put 100% of our attention into learning how to drive the car; in other words, we act “consciously”, but once we learn how to drive a car then we shift to unconscious mode to drive it.  How many of you catch yourself driving and not remembering how you got there because your mind was somewhere else?  You were not focusing your attention on driving but you were driving unconsciously.

The shift from unconscious to conscious is simply on the focusing.  Once you focus your attention, you start working consciously.  Most patterns are created unconsciously but if we focus our attention, we can create patterns consciously.  We have the power to do so.  However, ALL patterns have one main task in common: They work harmoniously to achieve balance.  You can choose to create a pattern consciously but until harmony and balance are achieved , all the elements that you try to affect with the new pattern are going to suffer because they are going to resist, and then they will either cease to exist or allow and move along.  For example: The number one New Year’s resolution is? ”To lose some weight”.  What is needed to lose weight?  Changing an eating pattern and/or adding an exercising pattern. 

Sacrifice

3/17/2013

Today, at the beginning of my walking meditation the song “Sacrifice” from Creed was on my head.  I remembered hearing it almost a week ago in the car and also remembered wanting to really listen to the message.  I had a feeling it was speaking to me.  So today during my walk I decided to ask the question: What is Sacrifice?  What is the real meaning of the word and did we distort the meaning of it? 

Ever since I can remember, the word Sacrifice has been used to denote leaving one’s dream to help someone else or do something else in spite of the emotional, physical or mental pain.   I have never liked this word specially because I used to hear it from immigrants coming to this country, how they “sacrifice” being away from their home and loved ones to make some money and live a little better and therefore they suffer so much”.  First, I never thought of myself as an immigrant or as being away from my home.  My home is where I am and wherever I am, I create my home and I believe that if I can do it, everyone else can.  I did not understand how people could feel so much pain by being away from the place they where born or the people they grew up with.  More clearly, I did not understand why does someone have to suffer so much in order to call the experience a sacrifice.  What is first, sacrifice or suffering?  Do they have to come together?  Can one live without the other one?

From Possession to Integration

8/1/2014

During a recent journey I learned that possession is not just wanting something for yourself but wanting that something to be part of you, to essentially be you.

That spoke to me deeply because it made me reflect on how in the midst of my spiritual tornado I searched for healing that would bring me harmony and peace of mind and as I found these great cures one by one, I brought them to my loved one who was also going through a spiritual tornado of his own.  At the time, I thought I was helping by making him do and practice the things that helped me and grew in deep frustration when he gave up or did not complete them.  I could not understand why someone would be so stubborn and decline these wonderful tools and refuse to practice the things that worked for me.  

In time I learned that we all learn differently and at a different pace.  I came to accept that truth but my biggest frustration was that I felt like I was progressing and he was regressing and we no longer had anything in common. The biggest revelation was to realize that at one point him and I were the same person but now he was not me and I was not him.  

Sustainable Peace

This article is the property of Mariela Siwarqinti. No one may alter and/or reproduce it in any way without the express written permission of Mariela Siwarqinti.

Mariela Siwarqinti, Healing Facilitator

mariela.siwarqinti@hotmail.com

973-330-6778

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It is 4:12 AM

9/18/2012

The last of my dream had something to do with a park.  The first song that popped into my head was Unchained Melody …. I’ve been listening to lyrics of songs that pop to my head for some time now to find clues and they seem to carry messages related to what is currently happening in my life.

Now, this is a song, beautiful song that I like but I have not thought of for a long, long time, and the fact that popped into my head at 4:12AM makes me think that it may carry a message for me.  So, I came downstairs and searched the song with lyrics on youtube.com and although a lovely song, the lyrics do not strike me much until, it says:

“Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea, to the open arms of the sea.  Lonely rivers sigh, “Wait for me, wait for me” I’ll be coming home, wait for me!”